Blessings

Last night somewhere between 2 and 6 am I lay in bed thinking about my blessings. It took me a little a while to where I could think of them but after I did, I felt much better. Here is the list:

*The sweetest little boy ever, who while suffering and in pain would look up at me and say "I love you Mom", and "You are beautiful".

*Amazing Doctors and Nurses

*Morphine! (not Lortab so much)

*A quick ER staff

*Adrenaline

*The priesthood

*My husband

*Priesthood blessings

*Olya (Thank you soooo much, I seriously don't know what I would do without you)

*A second "emergency car"

*A baby who slept through everything

*A second sling in the first aid kit

*Loving family who came for a visit

*Losing weight (let's see if I can keep it off)

*This all happening this week and not on Christmas!

All in all, I really do have so much to be thankful for! (Trust me, I'm not a perfect saint- it took me a little while to come to see it this way).

This week has been exciting. A little too exciting as I mentioned to Branson at about 5 am last night, err this morning. It was my third night in a row with virtually no sleep. I had no idea I could do that.

Monday I got the stomach flu. It came on in the afternoon and lasted through the night. Luckily Branson was able to come home a little early from work and take care of everything. I didn't sleep much that night. Tuesday when I was just starting to feel better Brecken broke his arm. It was bad enough that the hospital in American Fork sent us to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake for surgery that same night. (I'll post all about this adventure later today). Night #2 no sleep. Wed. I brought Brecken home and nursed him all day, he was in a lot of pain. I looked forward to sleep Wed. night. About 2 am both boys started vomiting. They didn't stop until about 9 am. Night #3 with no sleep.

I have to admit I was angry. I was angry with Heavenly Father for letting my sweet little Brecken suffer like that. He was already in so much pain with his broken arm post surgery. How could he add to that with the stomach flu. The poor little guy threw up about five times. I worried how he would be able to endure the pain without being able to keep any pain medication down. I ached for my little guy and was angry at Heavenly Father for a while there. Somewhere around 3 am ish I felt like I couldn't go on. My energy was spent. How was I going to do this the rest of the night and all day while Brans was gone at work? I asked Branson to give me a blessing. I was blessed that I would have the strength to take care of my family. I was blessed that Heavenly Father understands and suffers watching his children (me) go through these things just as I felt for Brecken. I was blessed that there was a reason for all this and that I would understand it. I did have strength, I made it through the night and I'm actually feeling pretty good right now. It looks like the boys are over the worst of it. Brecken didn't even complain about his arm all night and he is keeping his pain medicine down now.

I think the lesson I was supposed to learn, and that I should have already known, is that Heavenly Father suffers with us. He doesn't want us to go through these things but he know it is the only way we can grow and become better. To find strength that we didn't know we had. Sometimes we look around and think why, why is there so much suffering around us. I know that it has to be. I also got just a small, tiny glimpse of what our Father had to go through watching his Son suffer and atone for us. It was so hard to watch my sweet, innocent little boy suffer so much for something that wasn't his fault. I can't even imagine what it would be like for the Father to watch his Son suffer knowing he could stop it so easily. I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father who was willing to let his Son suffer so that we (the rest of his children) can repent and return to him.

This Christmas I am thankful for a Savior who suffered and took upon him our sins. And for a Father who suffered watching his child go through that so that the rest of his children could be saved.